The Love of a Father

Marco and Amelia Lodewyk
Jun 17, 2024
5 min read

Hey there! It's Marco here. Wanting to pop a message to say, Happy Father's Day!

I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth. -3 John 4 (New Living Translation)

I know this holiday can be particularly sensitive for many people. I personally have struggled throughout my life with what does it mean to have a dad, as I lost my biological father when I was seven. I was incredibly insecure at a young age because there were many years where we struggled, and there wasn't someone who was protecting and providing in the way a father does for his family. So, I was not the most welcoming of my step-dad as a teenager when he became part of our family, but in my later adult years came to appreciate him. And my wife, Amelia adored him for the two short years she knew him. We now miss him terribly, and know that he would have loved the opportunity to meet his granddaughter and see his grandchildren grow up.

With all that being said, this Father's Day is extra special for me, as I get to celebrate it for the first time with my baby daughter, Ava, in my arms, and we also have my two nephews visiting with us for their school holidays. Sadly, their dad does not play an active role in their life. So as their uncle, it's bittersweet, but I'm proud to be able to share today with them.

Unfortunately in South Africa, "Fatherlessness" is a societal statistic that plagues more families than we wish to see. Fatherlessness is quite literally an epidemic in South Africa. Besides many families living in adverse poverty, an extremely high percentage of children grow up without their biological dad living in their household, and this drastically increases for children of colour.

I've been ministering in correctional facilities for over a decade now, and grew up witnessing the dynamics of various fatherless and dysfunctional households, and I can say for a fact that this is the brutal honest truth. It's sad, and scary to think about. We hear story after story where men and women grow up without a present father in their life, let alone a father who was alive at all, and the terrible impact it had on their confidence as a young person.

Today (June 16, 2024) is actually really unique here in South Africa, because it is both Father's Day, and Youth Day. (Read here about the brief history of Youth Day).

It's been proven that of the greatest predictors of a youth's confidence and success in life is having a present, and active dad in their life. It's no wonder that many of the struggling youth here find themselves behind bars at one point or another. "South Africa has the largest prison population on the continent, with 157,056 incarcerated people in March 2023" (Prison Insider)

One of the most interesting questions we've asked young men as to why they joined gangs at such a young age is that they didn't have a present or active father in their life to show them the way, and so this group of gangsters showed them "how to be a man." Though we know that it's a false and fatal mirror of manhood.

In one of our recent programme sessions at a male correctional facility. We had a class of 17 men who all confirmed that they are the absent father. 11 of these 17 dads grew up fatherless themselves. Out of the 17 men there was 36 children that are currently fatherless.

We asked them what do they think the purpose of a father is? Though they all know the role of a dad.

Upon asking them who is playing that role for your kids now? There was a silence, the kind that had them paused and thinking.They were all a bit stunned by the question. It was as if reality had hit them at that moment. It was quite the wakeup call, as many of them asked for individual prayer when we were wrapping up for the day.

It is a sad reality that many children in our communities here in Cape Town and across the country are facing. Too many in fact. And the chances of them falling into the temptation of joining up with gangsterism is high. Please pray with us as a prison ministry team, or join us in making an impact in the lives of those who incarcerated.

We are currently doing a two programmes back to back with a group of pre-release men. We are doing a programme called STRENGTH men with them from Hillsong Africa Foundation, that equips men about discovering their identity and encouraging them to make healthy choices and live their life to their full potential. Without stereotyping men it rather reinforces the uniqueness of every person and their skills, strengths, and qualities too. Then this cohort of men partake in the Agricultural Training Programme which is a skills based programme where they can apply techniques they learn about farming and gardening and apply it to their every day life. It's a beautiful pairing of two programmes as we've seen men flourish in grasping their identity, and then physically applying and expressing their newfound confidence by learning something new within nature and God's creation.

Last Sunday, this garden project was dedicated in honour of our dear friend Keith and his legacy last Sunday. These photos are from our church campus in Mitchell's Plain, Cape Town where Keith used to serve in various capacities. He was an incredible youth leader, worked passionately within Hillsong Africa Foundation, and most of all loved encouraging people while making coffees on a Sunday morning. One of the biggest aching spots on our hearts is that Keith desired to be a dad, and eventually became one, but passed suddenly a few months after his son was born. We miss Keith every day. The impact he had on our church family, my individual family was far greater than we could ever explain. He was a GREAT friend and brother!

This garden is an example of the one we are hoping to create at the correctional facility that I just spoke about above.

I am really passionate about this topic of fatherhood, and being a man who helps break generational cycles such as fatherlessness.

WATCH THIS PODCAST EPISODE WHERE I TALK ABOUT THE ROLE OF THE FATHER

With all that to say, Happy Father's Day to all of the dad's you are SO needed, and appreciated! Your role is important, valuable, and of great responsibility. Thank you to the Dad's who go above and beyond for their own children, and for the one's who fill in the gap for others and are a healthy father figure to them.

Our family is deeply grateful for you taking the time to read this and considering partnering with us through financial support. It means the world, and allows us to make a difference every day in the lives of men and women who find themselves behind bars or are just re-entering society and need guidance and support in order to change and rebuild their live.

We urgently invite you to join our support team in any capacity you can, as Amelia's visa does not permit her to be employed for work in South Africa which is in part due to the country's high unemployment rate. Monthly donations are very helpful in planning and budgeting (though we joyfully receive once-off gifts too)! Check out our support link here! ⬇️

FOR TAX DEDUCTIBLE GIFTS: